We've been married for over 5 years but I have completely lost the feeling of what it feels like to be "connected" to someone.
He has never really "let me in" and he is even slightly paranoid. He can be demanding without thinking of my feelings.
I am immobolized with guilt and depression over my complicity in the years of abuse and destructiveness caused by my husband's behavior.
What I can't live with now is how this has affected my children who are now in their late 20's.
There are a lot of social skills therapies, but are there therapies to teach how to make a relationship work?
I dont want this to be my sons future, but I also don't want anyone to go through what I have.
Now Ive gone back and forth between narcissism and Asperger's for him, because they are so closely related.
Reading your story was like a chapter out of my own life. ONE Aspergers mate PLUS ONE non-Aspergers mate EQUALS.. If I abuse you or deny you happiness, love, affection, your voice because I have Aspergers or I abuse you and deny you all those things because I am mean.. Given that I have no family to speak of and it leaving in all likelihood would have meant a drastic reduction to a below poverty line existence, I stayed and became a buffer between my husband and his rage against our children.
Professionals not realizing what they have before them, inadvertently can wreak havoc, by simply making suggestions.
It saddens me though, because my son was finally diagnosed, and to hear people talk about NEVER marry a person with Asperger's makes me sad for my sons future.
I am very much in love with him but I am a basket case always feeling unimportant and not cared about.
I am also making him uncomfortable by trying to discuss with him how it feels for me. I have been receving counceling for a few years now and it is still very difficult to live with.